Friday, November 9, 2012

Next Stop on the GOP Crazy-Train: Total Irrelevancy

YES WE DID, FOLKS, AGAIN! We re-elected Barack Obama as President of the United States by a rather decent margin. And the strange thing about it is that the entire country should have seen it coming. Not from following Nate Silver (who was 100% right in his state-by-state predictions), but because we were all paying attention to the crazy train that was the Romney-Ryan ticket, and the nut-jobs who supported them. So now we come to the question that passes the lips of everyone about the losing party at this post-election juncture. What's to do now? Republicans’ only hope of making Obama a “one-term president” now lies in the Mayan prediction of the end of the world in 2012 coming true. Given the likelihood of that happening, how does the GOP save itself from total irrelevancy? Well, based on my observations these first two days after their electoral spanking, I'd say they're not off to a good start.

Proof that the GOP and their talking-head propagandists just don’t get it was as close as your remote-control as you flipped through Wednesday’s morning news programs’ analysis of not only why Romney lost so badly, but how he was able to take a sizeable chunk of the party down with him. In addition to re-electing Obama for another 4 years, Democrats gained two seats in the Senate, and 9 seats in the House of Representatives, a rather nice setup for 2014. In addition, Obama won over majorities of Blacks, Hispanics, Women, Gays, Asians, and young people. In fact, the only demographic group Romney was able to win over were old, White, heterosexual men. Yet in a discussion on Thursday’s Good Morning America when asked about the Republican party being “too old, too White, and too male,” Republican strategist Nicole Wallace’s grand recommendation was that they merely “modernize the message” (see video at the end of this post).

“Republicans have got to modernize the message. What happens at this juncture is always the same thing. We talk about a war within the Republican party between the moderates and the conservatives. That’s an irrelevant and outdated debate. It’s about modernizing the language. It’s about making it relevant to the policy debates of our time.”

So, Ms. Wallace, ye of the train-wreck that was the McCain/Palin campaign, answer me this. Exactly how does this “modernization” work? How do you modernize your party’s anti-Gay agenda to make it attractive to Gays and Lesbians? How do you modernize your hard-line stances against abortion and contraception to make your party more attractive to women like yourself? How does one gussy up the party’s anti-immigration policies enough to convince Hispanic and other immigrants that you’re the better party for them? How do you plan to fool Blacks and other minorities into thinking you’re all about their best interest while working to abolish Affirmative Action and suppress voting in minority neighborhoods? Your party faces an ever shrinking base of supporters, and your grand idea for expanding that base is to re-gift the same message in a prettier wrapping, and hope that no one outside of your Bat-Crap Crazy echo chamber recognizes it as the same old shit. Now I see why your campaign lost in 2008.

Wallace’s analysis, despite what I think of it, had at least some basic in logic, especially when compared to the reaction of some of the less stable inhabitants of Teabaggistan. A distraught (and possibly Oxy-Cottin tripping) Rush Limbaugh lamented this on his radio show Wednesday morning...
"I went to bed last night thinking, 'we're outnumbered,'" he said. "I went to bed last night thinking we'd lost the country. I don't know how else you look at this. The first wave of exit polls came in at five o'clock. I looked at it, and I said ... 'this is utter BS, and if it isn't, then we've lost the country.'"

Rush dismisses the idea that his party needs to expand beyond the old White male makeup of its base, feeling instead that they should become even more conservative. "We have plenty of highly achieved minorities in our party!" he said. Of course you’d expect that analysis from Rush, given the money he makes from the brain dead lemmings he calls “ditto-heads”. And who among us will soon forget the total meltdown by Karl Rove on FOX News when Ohio was finally called for Obama (see video at the end of this post). Of course Turd-blossom has his own problems to worry about, given he convinced his rich donors to part with millions in his failed effort to defeat Obama. But that’s another story.

Then there is Sir John of Orange, House Speaker John Boehner, who was so “tore-up from the floor up” that he, along with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed to answer a phone call from the newly re-elected President the night of his victory. According to the New York Times…
After his speech, Mr. Obama tried to call both Mr. Boehner and the Senate Republican leader, Mitch McConnell, but was told they were asleep.

Now I’ll refrain from filling your head with disturbing images involving Boehner, McConnell, and a variety of leather and battery operated implements. But seriously, how petty are you that you can’t be awakened to take a phone call from the President of the United States? And that was only the beginning, as Boehner indicated Tuesday that we should probably expect more of the same from his House.
“The American people re-elected a Republican majority (in the House) and I’m proud of the fact that our team in a very difficult year was able to maintain our majority.”
And regarding the Affordable Care Act (a.k.a. Obamacare)…
“I think there are parts of the healthcare law that are going to be very difficult to implement. And very expensive. And as the time when we're trying to find a way to create a path toward a balanced budget everything has to be on the table.”
You almost expect Mitch McConnell to step up and say that their top priority will be to make Obama a two-term president.

Finally there’s the conservative Twitterati, whom I must admit provided me with endless entertainment Wednesday as I basked in Obama’s victory. The word “unhinged” is the only word that comes close to describing the total conniptions that have been on display on Twitter since Tuesday. #tcot (Top Conservatives On Twitter) have been calling for everything from armed sedition, to secession, to just crawling under the bed with their guns and bibles for the next four years. My favorites have been the calls for article of Impeachment (no lie) on the administration’s handling of Benghazi. Clearly something not likely to happen, but its fun to watch the unstable masses that occupy Teabaggistan lose it in real-time.

So this is pretty much what we can expect from the GOP and their sheep for the next four years. The same old hateful oppressive messages dressed up in a prettier package, continued isolation from the rest of the country, not to mention reality itself, and the same kind of obstruction and policy madness that has resulted not only in Barack Obama being re-elected, but in a net loss for their party. In other words, the same thing they’ve been doing for the past four years, only more of it and louder.

Well, you know what? Good for them. I say they should keep on doing what they’re doing. After all, I’m counting on Hillary running in 2016, and we could certainly use the help getting her elected.

Photos from the site "White Peole Mourning Romney".